When Friends and Family Visit Aging Seniors

July 2010 has brought quite a large number of guests to our home for various reasons, making my father a very happy man. He loves having people stop by and enjoys the hours of conversation that provides.

Just this month alone we had visits from:

1. My brother and his family came to visit over the 4th of July from southwestern Illinois. Also joining us was my niece from Indianapolis.
2. My cousin who lives in North Carolina stopped to visit on his way from visiting a relative in Wisconsin.
3. My daughter and grandson from Texas, and my other daughter from SE Michigan stopped by while here for a funeral on the former in laws side of the family.
4. My sister is now here from Utah as of yesterday.
5. Life long friends from the mid-Michigan area stopped by Friday to see how Dad was doing, and to watch a DVD that my brother put together of old videos my Dad had recorded.

That was just in July alone! Very unusual that we get that many visitors, but it has been fun to see everyone. At our age, you never know when you will ever see anyone again.

What I most noticed, however, is that no matter how much we enjoy the company it seems to pass all to swiftly. Suddenly the house is empty again and we just have snippets of conversations and certain memories of those who were here. It really is difficult living so far from one another that we are unable to visit any more than we do. And, the visits are all too short.

The month is running out so I don't know if we will have anyone else this July, but it has really been a pleasure to see everyone in person. A number of us get together on Facebook, email, cell phones, and text messages, but it is never the same as seeing someone in person.

Hugs are great - we love our hugs. We also enjoy just sitting around talking and sharing memories from the past. All in all, it's been a great summer and we will remember when friends and family visited these aging seniors.

Family Update - All is Well

Apparently I haven't posted since Dad's traumatic header down a flight of stairs on August 8th. He and my daughter were attending a birthday party for a long-time friend of Dad's. The party was held in their church basement. As Dad and Deb were leaving, they climbed a flight of stairs and Deb told Dad to wait and she would grab their jackets. While he was waiting, he apparently became dizzy and took a dive down about eight steps, face forward and head down, coming to a stop on the landing.

To make a long story much shorter, he spent three days in ICU and ten days at a rehab center. He has had home health care since that time, mostly due to a large wound on his leg that is slow in healing. He is diabetic and healing this wound is a major consideration. Thankfully, the wound care people are taking good care of him.

David's Visit

The second major event this fall was the visit by my other daughter, Barb, and her son David. You will see his picture in the previous post. They stayed for approximately two weeks, and were missed before they even left the driveway. Texas is a long way from Michigan, and we have no idea when we will see them again. Thank God for cell phones with the ability to send pictures and short videos. We are able to keep up to date on David's growth and his activities.

Dad's 87th Birthday
The third event this fall was Dad's birthday on October 18th. He turned eight-seven-years-old (87). What a milestone. His sister turned 92 on the same dad. We didn't do anything really special, just had a quiet day of football and special dinner, but he did receive numerous birthday cards and phone calls throughout the weekend.

If you haven't had the chance as yet, stop over at the Elder Care Cafe.net and check out what is happening. We are up to 266 posts at this time and still going strong. Lot's of changes there recently in the look of the site, but the same intent - to support caregivers and the elderly - is still of utmost priority. We celebrated our 1st birthday in early August. We had a birthday cake, balloons, and of course Beyer's sugar free pecan ice cream.

Just a quick update. Hope you get a chance to visit us somewhere on the web. We are still here although we don't post as often anymore.

Let us know what is going on in your life. We would love to hear from you and how you are doing with your care giving. Take care and hope to hear from you soon.

You're Planning On Living How Long?

About six months ago, my dad was scheduled for a four hour session related to his heart condition. The cardiologist was running a one hour test and a three hour test. Dad adamantly declared he did not want to go through the test again. After talking to my siblings, we decided to let him make his own decision and therefore he did not have the test.

Last month we got a letter from the cardiologist who had rescheduled the test for Friday, April 3. Although Dad really did not want to go through the ordeal, he said, "Well, if I'm going to live to be a hundred, I guess I might as well stay healthy."

We arrived at the office about 8:45 a.m. and left a little after 1:00 p.m. with Dad looking pale and weary and declaring, "I'm never having that test again!"

After a quick very late lunch at a nearby Arby's, he felt much better. Friends of his, the wife is a distant relative, had accompanied us to the appointment and we thoroughly enjoyed our lunch and the drive to and from the doctors office. I think their presence made the whole event a little easier for Dad.

But, I bet we have a little different response from him the next time the cardiologist tries to book an appointment. What do you think?

Country's Family Reunion DVDs Review

As most readers know, my Dad has had limited vision all his life. He also was born color-blind. He attended the Lansing (MI) School for the Blind during high school, and has not had a driver's license since he was young.

At eighty-six-years-old he spends much of his time listening to talking books and watching TV (sitting right next to the TV). One of his favorite channels to watch is RFD. He enjoys the many old-time music shows featuring his favorite singers and musicians from the past.

We had purchased a series of videos from Country's Family Reunion, but he gave his video/DVD player to one of his grandchildren. A couple of weeks ago I bought him a set of DVDs showing hours of the Family Reunion shows.

I happened to have a 17" TV/DVD that I placed on an end table across the room from his TV. He can set in the rocker/recliner next to the smaller TV/DVD player and watch the DVDs. He quickly learned to operate all the buttons on the remote, and now watches the shows anytime he gets tired of listening to his books. It also causes him to move to a different part of the living room, which I think is good for him.

The shows are hosted by Bill Anderson and feature singing and conversation by major stars from past years. Occasionally they show outtakes of old performances from the 1950s - 1980's with comments by those who knew the performer, or by the performer themself.

I watched several hours with Dad and the shows are such a joy to watch for country music fans. The DVDs are produced and available from Gabriel Communications, 125 Belle Forest Circle, Suite 101, Nashville, TN 37221. You can reach customer service by calling 1-800-820-5405.

I highly recommend this series to any country music fan who would like to revisit a bygone era, and catch up with where those stars are now. The senior set will especially enjoy seeing their favorites.

Thursday Thirteen Caregiver Blog Site List

On the blogsite Alzheimer's Notes, Mary Emma Allen noted how she found a number of caregivers who have created blogs about their experience caring for a loved one. Caregivers are using blogs to express their own feelings and struggles, to help others cope, and to realize that they are not alone.

Earlier this month, Mary Emma listed a group of blogs maintained by caregivers, and I was very blessed that this blog was included on the list. I would like to thank Mary Emma for all she has done to encourage others who are going through the physical and emotional challenge of caring for a loved one.

If you have time, please visit Alzheimer's Notes and thank Mary Emma for her blog as she has given the rest of us the wisdom and understanding she obtained through her own caregiving experience. Many times, once someone's caregiving time is finished, they choose to move on. Mary Emma has returned to help the rest of us along.

Thank you, Mary Emma, for your concern and your support!

You can read the article at this link ==> Thursday Thirteen.

If you know of any other sites that are written by caregivers, please leave the name of the site in the comment section. I believe it is important that we continue to support one another.

Frigid? Who's Frigid?

It is colder than icicles in Michigan! In fact, the icicles are probably buckling under this frigid weather. Wow! This morning my computer said it was -9 F about 6:30 a.m. Our indoor/outdoor is hovering around 4 deg.

That said, Dad and I are doing pretty good as long as we can stay indoors. We are toasty warm, there is plenty of hot chocolate with marshmallows to be had, the cookie gremlin might be inspired to make peanut butter cookies sometime today, and I heard whispers that we might enjoy a nice hot bowl of potato soup tonight for supper.

Dad got a bunch of new talking books yesterday - mostly western theme with a couple of Zane Grey for good measure. He really enjoys listening to westerns.

For the first time in weeks the sky is blue, the sun is shining, but it is still frigid. I guess we better take the good news while we can.

What is your good news today? How's the weather? What's for supper? What are you reading and/or drinking? Inquiring minds want to know!

Longevity and Life Expectancy Statistics

Today we learned that Edna Parker, who at the age of 115 was the oldest living person on earth, passed away Wednesday. The next person in line is Maria de Jesus of Portugal, who was born Sept. 10, 1893, and is now the world's oldest person according to the Gerontology Research Group.

Readers know I love interesting websites. Here is a link to About.com: Longevity. Two interesting articles currently highlighted include how higher gas prices saves lives, and as we have grown to expect life expectancy to increase, there are some counties in the United States where life expectancy decreases. Check out these articles and more by clicking on the term "Longevity" highlighted above.

Who is the oldest person you know? Are they a relative of yours?

When Parents Are Stronger Than We Expect

Little Lloyd - Dad as a child

My brother and I had an interesting conversation about Dad yesterday. He and I were discussing Dad's health and he asked me how much longer I thought Dad would last. A very astute question considering Dad is 86-years-old.

I said, "Well, I'm not sure he is going to last through this winter."

Bro laughed and said, "You said that last winter."

"I believe I also said that the winter before," I replied.

Dad is like the energizer bunny that just keeps going even when the batteries are getting weaker. Dad told me two years ago he wanted to live to be 86. At the time I realized that was how old his father was when he died.

I'm all for longevity, and as Dad's caregiver, I am here for the duration no matter how long that may be. His sister just turned 91, so longevity is in the family line. Unfortunately, Dad has more health-related issues than she does, but he also has a strong will to live.

In my unprofessional opinion, having a strong will to live plays a part in longevity. Over the last few years since Mom died (2004), Dad has often said he wants to join her. But there is a possibility that his inner will or strength may override his emotions.

One of the things I do as his caregiver is keep him "thinking forward" to upcoming events. Almost daily I remind him of something coming up that week or month, or I suggest things that we can do that he might enjoy. Since I began making a concerted effort to employ that care giving trick-of-the-trade, I have noticed he is less depressed and tends not to mention joining Mom as much as he did in the past.

What do you think? What is your experience with an elderly parent, and what part did their will play in their life?

Six-Month Diabetic Follow-up Class

Yesterday Dad and I attended a one-hour class as a six-month followup led by the diabetic nurse educator that has assisted Dad since his diabetic coma in March 2007. MJ has helped tremendously in keeping Dad's blood sugar as stable as possible by following his numbers and adjusting dosage as necessary.

Soon after our initial visit with MJ last year, I created a log on Excel. Dad keeps the log sheets in a spiral notebook on the kitchen table, along with his syringe and monitor kit, because he tests four times a day. He is now on two kinds of insulin, one he takes prior to each meal and the other two hours after his last meal.

After the meeting MJ sat with us and reviewed Dad's needs. He ended up with a new monitor and easier way to obtain blood for his tests.

Along the way, I learned some interesting information about following a diabetic diet that I will share in the next post. We were also given a monthly schedule of one hour meetings we can attend if we want to, to receive further information and encouragement. The monthly sessions are heavy on question and answers.

The Diabetic Center at the hospital where MJ works is actively involved in teaching diabetics how to manage their disease. MJ has called us numerous times to track Dad's numbers, including evenings and weekends. At times she has needed to call several times a week for a while, then was able to back off to once a month or every couple of months. She has always been friendly and caring, even taking time to chat with Dad about his life.

People like MJ are a God-send to those who have to live with diabetes. My kudos to MJ and others on staff for their willingness to go beyond the call to help Dad and others like him.

It takes "a village" when it comes to senior care. Be sure to give a special thank you to those who are helping you and your loved one in their latter years.

Blog Action Day - October 15th

Today, October 15th, is Blog Action Day - the day thousands of bloggers across the world raise their voices as they bring forth the issue of poverty. Many times, people don't want to discuss the hard issues of life. It's easier to walk away from unpleasantness and turn our backs on the very subjects that need our attention the most.

On this day, take a look around you and see what you can do to eradicate poverty in your area.

Concerning this blog, look at the senor citizens around you; those who are living on fixed incomes, living in poverty, often unable to pay medical expenses, health care costs, prescriptions, or even for decent housing. Especially during this time of financial crisis, prescription drug costs are skyrocketing.

Seniors are eating dog food to stay alive; living in homes with no heat or running water because utilities have been cut off.

Senior citizens in dire need of assistance are all around you. Do what you can to help someone rise above the heinous lifestyle poverty brings.

What can you do today? What have you done to help someone in dire need of assistance? Let this be the day that you bring awareness to someones life and get them the help they need. Thank you!

Caregiving and the Campaign Trail

In today's CareConnection.com newsletter, Suzanne Mintz wrote an important article about the lack of conversation on the campaign trail regarding caregivers. And why is that, you ask?

Because, although health care reform will be a huge issue for the next president, care giving will not. The problem is not that care giving is not important, it is that the reason there are caregivers is because there is disease that so devastates the person who is ill, they require a caregiver.

It is the disease that must be addressed, researched, and a cure found. When we find ways to improve care and cut costs, we will have found a way to take care of the family caregivers.

Suzanne ends her message by stating, "There are so many things that need to change in our health care system, but if we can turn the tide and help patients with chronic conditions get the kind of care they need, we'd be well on our way to creating a truly positive change in how America provides and pays for health care."

Amen, sister!

Click on the title to this post and read Suzanne's important statement about the unfortunate state of health care and how it affects today's caregivers.

What do you think about today's health care programs? Are you a caregiver? How does the state of health care in America affect you?

Writers Capture Life Stories of the Terminally Ill

In recent years, writing memoirs and life stories has become quite popular. Numerous local and internet groups have formed providing a platform to share the hundreds of thousands of stories now in existence.

I conducted an internet search and found 96,000,000 sites by entering “life story writers.” Many were probably duplicates, but that was still quite a large number.

Opportunity to share life stories

Story circles abound giving people an opportunity to share their life with others if they choose, self-publish if they desire, and receive writing assistance when necessary. Using outlines and writing prompts help keep writers on track.

Some stories are told chronologically while others are an anthology of anecdotes. Many times photographs and personal recipes are included.

Terminally ill given final opportunity to share

Often people write their own stories, but a growing trend is to write life stories for those who are terminally ill.

A group in my area volunteer their services through local hospice centers or by word of mouth. They interview the person while taking notes and taping the conversation. They willingly spend hours writing a small book, which is bound and presented to the terminally ill person and his or her family.

The bound book can be soft or hard cover and the person interviewed controls the content. They see a final draft before the book is printed, and that allows them to edit whatever they may decide to leave out of the final copy.

It is their book, and the content and how the story is told is their choice.

Later, families of the deceased often describe the book as a gift given to them by their loved one. Life story books hold information only the storyteller could know and is told in their own voice.

That is a powerful legacy to leave their loved ones after they are gone.

The Power of Online Forums

I belong to several online forums for caregivers. One forum participant currently has a survey thread and several people have responded so far. The main gist of the survey is why do people join forums and what does the participant like or dislike about forums.

The two reasons that struck me the most were the feelings of isolation and lack of freedom as a caregiver. Several people railed because of the lack of support and understanding of their siblings.

They joined the forums because it is difficult to leave the home to go to a support group. Their main support is through connecting with strangers online.

Online forums are easily accessible to those with computers and for those who do not want to or cannot leave their home. Also, if their loved one needs them, they are able to step away from the computer to attend to their needs.

As always, a main concern I hear about is fatigue. Rarely do caregivers get the rest they need, or the time to take any type of respite.

Many caregivers have given up years of their lives to care for aging family members. This is especially true due to the longer life spans now available to our parent’s generation and those following. As the life span continues to increase, we will see many more caregivers with parents and grandparents well into their nineties and over 100.

Recently I read a statement about how different caring for aging parents is today than how it was many years ago. I know the life span issue is one facet that makes a huge difference in the lives of caregivers today. As medical science continues to advance, this issue is not going to go away.

That brings up the question of who is going to care for those of the later age group? How are those in their late sixties, seventies, and possibily early eighties going to care for their parents?

Who is going to care for the caregivers?

What are your thoughts on longevity and the role it plays in the lives of family caregivers?

Amber Alert for Elderly

An article in today’s Lansing State Journal (LSJ) grabbed my attention. Rep. Mark Meadows, D-East Lansing introduced legislation requiring police to issue missing persons reports on seniors as soon as possible after receiving the information, much like the Amber Alert for missing children.

Several years after her dementia diagnosis, my mother would occasionally leave the house and head down the street and through neighbors yards.

Thankfully, my parents have lived on this street since 1962 and many of the neighbors recognized Mom. While Dad was trying to locate her, they would stop her from going further and then get a hold of Dad or start walking her back home.

Numerous stories in recent years have not turned out as well as ours.

According to Eric Hall, president and CEO of the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America, about 16 million people will develop Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia by 2050.

Meadows’ bill, called the Mozelle Senior Medial Alert Act, passed the Michigan House this spring, and is pending in the Senate according to the LSJ. The bill is similar to the national Amber Alert program and drawing federal attention.

According to the LSJ, others supporting the notification system include the Michigan State Police and AARP.

Due to the growing number of seniors and the rise in Alzheimer’s-related diseases, this bill needs to pass the senate and become law in Michigan. An alert system for missing seniors could prevent needless deaths.

Seniors and Spirituality

People have their own opinion of religion and spirituality. As they age, their spiritual focus tends to change.

When they are young, they are busy living life; going to school, raising a family, working on their career. By the time people reach senior citizen status, they have usually determined what they believe.

Many churches not equipped. Pastors are finding they are not equipped to deal with the spiritual aspects of their aging population. Sure, some churches may have activities for seniors, maybe a bible study, bingo, or some other type of get together, but many struggle with such in-depth issues as death and dying or the end-of-life issues that are a growing concern to many. Most spiritual leaders lack training in the area of geriatrics.

Beginning steps. Churches moving toward services that are more contemporary sometimes throw in an occasional hymn to pacify the seniors, and larger churches may have a separate service for the more conservative attendee. However, for the most part these moves are cosmetic compared to the real needs of the older church population.

Better yet. The more progressive churches now provide transportation, listening aids for the hard of hearing, larger print for easier reading, and services broadcast on a local TV channel for those who are home bound.

As the baby boomer swell enters their early sixties, to stay relevant more churches will need to address the concerns of their aging population.

Baby boomers as a group tend toward independent thinking and activism. It will be interesting to see how the church handles its current senior population plus the growing number of aging boomers filling their pews every Sunday.

Dental Care and the Elderly - How Far Should We Go?

This is an off-the-cuff personal observation about dental care and the elderly. No research done, no statistical information sought, and no expert comment from others included - just my own raw opinion.

Dad visited the dentist last week for his scheduled cleaning and I believe that’s important to his health. He will be eighty-six-years-old in a few months, and has numerous health problems including diabetes and an arrhythmic heart. I know from years working in the health care industry, preventing bacteria from making its way to his heart through his blood stream could avert a serious health event.

The dentist wanted to do some work around a tooth near the front, then place a crown on the tooth. As an alternative, she could pull the tooth and leave the space empty. Of course, the former was labor intensive, far more expensive, and included additional painful visits. She mentioned other dental work he needed, but this was the most pressing.

Last year he and I discussed this very subject and it was his strong opinion he wanted no more dental work other than routine cleaning, as he did not want the pain or the expense other work would require.

This time as I was sitting in the waiting room, I heard him say, “You better ask my daughter. She makes all the decisions.”

Oh, really? And this started when?

What is the best for Dad? Considering his age, at what point do we stop preventative or cosmetic care? Because of the location of the tooth, the real question was, should we pull the tooth and leave a space or place a permanent crown.

Dad’s comment that I should decide led me to believe he was thinking he should have this work done, but didn’t want to make the decision himself. Otherwise, he probably would have said no upfront.

As a team, we discussed our options including the amount insurance was likely to pay, and I decided that we should proceed with the crown. I made an administrative decision, there were smiles all around, and Dad seemed okay with that, even a bit relieved.

Because my nature is to look to the future, how can I deny Dad the same opportunity? Rather than say to him by my actions, if not specifically in words, it’s time to give up, lets not do anything more, what I am saying is “you have a future and we need to prepare you for that future”.

I’m not ready to make decisions based on thinking it’s time for him to let go and die, and at the end of the day, neither is he.

The Elderly and Their Medications

As symptoms of aging or disease increase, it is likely the number of doctors and prescriptions will increase. Therefore, incidents of over or under medicating can become a serious problem in an elderly persons life. A main concern is the interaction of medications to the detriment of your loved one.

When my father visits his primary physician every three months, he places all medications in a plastic bag to take with him. The nurse always makes note of the medications and the dosage he is currently taking. That way if another physician has made any changes, Dad's primary physician is aware and can make any necessary adjustments.

Caregivers should play a vital role in monitoring their loved ones medications. Note what they are taking along with the amount and frequency. Work with their pharmacist or doctor regarding side effects and know what symptoms to watch for.

Pharmacists are highly trained in the interaction and effects of drugs. An especially good resource if you have any questions regarding possible side effects are those pharmacists specifically trained in geriatrics.

These key tips may help you in caring for your loved one.

1. Make sure all physicians are aware of current medications, including prescriptions, over the counter medications such as cold medications and aspirin, daily multivitamins, and herbal remedies.

The cumulative effect of medicine can cause side effects to show up a month or so after starting a new drug. Talk to your physician about what to watch for so that you understand when you see a new symptom.

2. With newly prescribed drugs, find out:

+ Can another drug be removed?
+ Should the drug be listed on an ID bracelet?
+ What side effects should you watch for?
+ Which side effects should you immediately report?

3. Watch dosage amounts, how often to take the medication, and whether to take prior to or after a meal. Also helpful:

+ Plastic dosage containers with the day of the week or time of day
+ Request large type on prescription labels
+ Double check the label to insure correct medication is taken
+ Keep medication in a dedicated storage area to prevent over or under usage

Physicians cannot always eliminate side effects when they are trying to address a patient’s symptoms. They will try to maintain the correct balance if they are aware of all current medications.

Use drugs with extreme caution and only for specific symptoms. Watch for symptoms such as dizziness, blurred vision, drowsiness, increased confusion, increased agitation, falling, or the appearance of a rash. Immediately notify your elder’s physician of any disturbing reactions.

When you keep informed as to what your loved one is taking, seek further information from their physician or pharmacy when necessary, and oversee their daily dosage requirements and regimen, you play a huge role in helping your loved one live a better quality of life.

Saturday Morning Musings

Dad and I had a quiet 4th of July. Until after dark, that is. For about two hours the pops and sparks and sounds of fireworks filled the air. But it was expected and ginger ale and vanilla ice cream floats took care of any angst we may have felt.

Hope everyone had a good day. We are so thankful for the freedom we enjoy living in the United States. Although at times we may know things could be better, as we look at the problems and situations in other countries, we can't help but feel blessed to live in the land of the free.

I know this blog is still in its infancy and I'm not sure exactly where it's going. Should it be a strictly formal venue for all things elder care related, or should there be an informality that allows one to swing between the heavy and the lighter fare?

I spent a good deal of time yesterday researching and writing about elder care and thought I had a post ready, but just couldn't quite bring it together. This website can get into some heavy topics, and living with an elderly man, who happens to be my father, and trying to write about caring for the caregiver and other topics can get a bit dicey.

Humor has always been a fallback for me whenever life has put in a more somber appearance than I would like. Stepping back from the situation and placing my focus on other interests also helps to lift a sometimes listless mood. Fortunately, several telephone calls from family members yesterday evening also provided a welcome distraction.

Therefore, after all was said and done, no post was entered and today I am looking at other blogs regarding writing and/or elder care. I'm looking forward to a productive, yet relaxing, day as I peruse other sites.

What are you doing to lighten the caregiving load? What pleasant distractions do you enjoy? Are pleasant distractions and guilty pleasures related?

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Is it really the 4th already?

Three Keys to Aging in Place

A growing number of aging senior citizens consider staying in their homes a priority. In the last few years a new term as emerged identifying those who desire to stay put.

The term? Aging in place.

Recent studies show approximately twenty-five million U.S. households are headed by someone over sixty-five. That number will grow as the leading wave of aging boomers arrives on the scene. With eighty-five percent wanting to remain in their homes, the challenge to do so will increase.

The following three factors are key in making that happen.

1. Physical and mental health. To age in place, seniors must be able to care for themselves. Families can prepare ahead of time by obtaining physical and mental examinations to determine what needs may arise and what services are required, if any.

Assess what community services are available. Often nearby family and friends are able to lend a hand. Public transportation, senior citizen centers, and programs such as Meals-on-Wheels quite often are available. Paid or unpaid caregivers can provide much needed assistance.

2. Financial Health. Especially vulnerable to forced moves are the low to moderate-income elders. Unable to pay for upkeep or expensive repairs on a house, many people must move in with other family members or make other less desirable living arrangements.

Experts say mortgages should be paid off prior to leaving the work place in order to reduce the likelihood of future financial stress. Some may consider an alternative course of action such as a reverse mortgage. Make sure to discuss options with a trusted financial advisor.

3. Physical condition of the home. If possible, make sure the senior’s home has been properly maintained. Homes are in constant need of upkeep and as people age, they will not be able to do the work themselves. Addressing as many needs as possible will assure a pleasant living experience.

Sometimes people know their needs ahead of time and are able to remodel. For example, removing steps and adding a ramp will make the home wheelchair accessible if health concerns warrant. Widening doors and adding grab bars to the bathroom will help the handicapped senior live alone. Remodeling a home to make it handicap accessible should be a priority.

Many people desire to remain where they feel a sense of warmth and comfort. They are familiar with the neighborhood and may still be active in the community. Their home is comfortable, convenient and feels safe. Strong memories and traditions are difficult to leave.

Helping people age in place will contribute to healthier, safer, and happier lives for millions of older Americans. Using wisdom and preplanning may allow many more of our aging population to remain in their homes.

Caring for the Caregiver, Part 2 - Expand Your Support Network

Few people are prepared for the daunting task of care giving. Fatigue, depression, and health problems can plague a caregiver unless he or she seeks necessary relief. Thankfully, numerous options are now available for respite and renewal. Here are several suggestions:

1. Join a support group. A group related to a loved one’s illness or disease provides an opportunity to meet people who understand what you are going through. Often support groups discuss wide-ranging topics or bring in a speaker who can answer questions and suggest available resources. A social time usually follows.

Support groups bring together people from all lifestyles. During group sessions, they are able to share experiences in a safe and supportive environment, update each other since the last meeting, laugh and cry together, and many times form lasting friendships.

Support group meeting times and locations are sometimes available through local hospitals, listed in the community section of the newspaper, or on the Internet. Many people network with other caregivers in online forums.

2. Seek individual counseling. If support groups are not available in your area, consider talking to a pastor or counselor. Many churches offer free or by donation counseling and support services.

3. Surround yourself with caring people. Choose people who make you feel valued and cared about. Appropriate family members, friends or co-workers, church members, and neighbors can offer strong emotional and mental support.

During this season of time, you need positive and loving reinforcement, laughter, meaningful conversation, and the ability to share feelings and concerns.

4. Find outside interests. All caregivers should avoid isolation. Many times you may feel too tired to join a support group or attend functions. However, you must make the effort to become involved in some form of activity.

A few activities you could try are:

+ Join a group. Become a member of a group that interests you and can expand your horizons, such as a writing group, or a book or garden club.
+ Take a class. There are numerous classes held in local schools, in the community, or on the Internet. Learn a new language, paint a picture in oil or watercolor, or create a vase in pottery class.
+ Join a health club or swim at a local pool. Many schools offer free or low cost opportunities to use their pool.
+ Volunteer for an hour or two for local organizations, museums, theatre groups.
+ Walk daily or several times a week with a neighbor or friend
+ Participate in a golf league or on a bowling team.

Expanding your support network provides an opportunity for much needed respite several hours a day or week. Ask for volunteers or hire someone to care for your loved one while you take a few hours for yourself. Adult day care centers are available in many locations.

To provide adequate care to a loved one, a caregiver could seek outside activities. Although you may feel too tired to go anywhere, even the smallest step will bring a sense of renewal and will enable you, in the end, to provide better care.

What one activity would you like to do today to give yourself a mental and physical boost? Consider taking part in that activity in the next few days or weeks. You will feel much better for the experience.