September Will Bring a Family Visitor to Our Home

We are all atwitter here since we learned our grandson/great-grandson will visit us in September. Now two-years-and-four-months-old, David is growing fast. We have received quite a number of photos via cell phone, well over a hundred at last count.

About twenty short videos also allow us to watch him as he grows. He is becoming quite a young boy.

Long distant grand parenting is difficult when we see such wonderful changes taking place. I would love to be with him in person, but I am thankful that modern technology allows us to stay in touch pretty much in real time.

I have a picture that I framed of David and his Dad soon after they left a local restaurant one evening. The cool thing about the picture is that while they were in the restaurant I received two videos showing David and his family while they were eating.

Now when I look at the picture, I can remember, or watch once again, how he behaved while eating. Almost like being there in real time.

We haven't yet tried Skype, although I think being able to see and talk to him via that type of resource would be a great addition to our photo and video arsenal to keep Grandma and David in touch with one another.

I know that I am where I am supposed to be as far as caregiver to my father, but I certainly miss the physical closeness, i.e. hugs and kisses, I could have with my grandson. Thankfully modern technology helps us stay in touch.

Country's Family Reunion DVDs Review

As most readers know, my Dad has had limited vision all his life. He also was born color-blind. He attended the Lansing (MI) School for the Blind during high school, and has not had a driver's license since he was young.

At eighty-six-years-old he spends much of his time listening to talking books and watching TV (sitting right next to the TV). One of his favorite channels to watch is RFD. He enjoys the many old-time music shows featuring his favorite singers and musicians from the past.

We had purchased a series of videos from Country's Family Reunion, but he gave his video/DVD player to one of his grandchildren. A couple of weeks ago I bought him a set of DVDs showing hours of the Family Reunion shows.

I happened to have a 17" TV/DVD that I placed on an end table across the room from his TV. He can set in the rocker/recliner next to the smaller TV/DVD player and watch the DVDs. He quickly learned to operate all the buttons on the remote, and now watches the shows anytime he gets tired of listening to his books. It also causes him to move to a different part of the living room, which I think is good for him.

The shows are hosted by Bill Anderson and feature singing and conversation by major stars from past years. Occasionally they show outtakes of old performances from the 1950s - 1980's with comments by those who knew the performer, or by the performer themself.

I watched several hours with Dad and the shows are such a joy to watch for country music fans. The DVDs are produced and available from Gabriel Communications, 125 Belle Forest Circle, Suite 101, Nashville, TN 37221. You can reach customer service by calling 1-800-820-5405.

I highly recommend this series to any country music fan who would like to revisit a bygone era, and catch up with where those stars are now. The senior set will especially enjoy seeing their favorites.

Text and Pix Messages - A Wonderful Thing

This picture is David and his mom fishing from the pier in Port Aransas, TX

Dad and I have received numerous text messages, pictures, and videos from my Texas-based daughter. The good news is that we are receiving numerous pictures of my grandson as he grows. We don't have to wait for pictures to be developed, sent by snail mail, or even wait for belated trips to the post office.

I love hearing that little "ding" letting me know there is a new picture available. Now, if I can just get the pictures uploaded to my computer, that would be great. The videos are a riot, and we can see David in action. The funny thing is, he is either sleeping or moving around in some manner. He loves to move rapidly forward and back when he is sitting in his highchair.

And the other day a picture arrived where he is sitting in the little antique chair Dad and I sent at Christmas time. The funny thing is, he was sticking his tongue out at us when the picture was taken. Now, I wonder who put him up to that?

Anyway, I hope you have the capability to send and receive instant messages to long-distant family members. I know it has really enhanced our lives!

Keep those pix and text coming, kids - we love them all!

Frigid? Who's Frigid?

It is colder than icicles in Michigan! In fact, the icicles are probably buckling under this frigid weather. Wow! This morning my computer said it was -9 F about 6:30 a.m. Our indoor/outdoor is hovering around 4 deg.

That said, Dad and I are doing pretty good as long as we can stay indoors. We are toasty warm, there is plenty of hot chocolate with marshmallows to be had, the cookie gremlin might be inspired to make peanut butter cookies sometime today, and I heard whispers that we might enjoy a nice hot bowl of potato soup tonight for supper.

Dad got a bunch of new talking books yesterday - mostly western theme with a couple of Zane Grey for good measure. He really enjoys listening to westerns.

For the first time in weeks the sky is blue, the sun is shining, but it is still frigid. I guess we better take the good news while we can.

What is your good news today? How's the weather? What's for supper? What are you reading and/or drinking? Inquiring minds want to know!

Black Friday and Past Shopping Memories

Shopping has never been of particular interest to me. When I was growing up, about once every month or so we would travel to downtown Lansing, and once in a while to Hudson's in Detroit.

Mom saved stamps, we dutifully filled the books, and off we would go to Arbaughs in Lansing to redeem the books for household items. My grandmother usually tagged along and we loved to stop by Woolworth's for a banana split or hot fudge Sunday.

In later years, I sometimes enjoyed shopping for specific items such as lamps for a new home, or my twice a year clothes shopping spree, but other than that, I continued to stay away from family shopping trips.

One day, I allowed my mother to talk me into going to the Lansing Mall during December for their family gift buying day. The group included my mother and father, my sister, my two daughters and myself.

Never have I seen a family as divided as we were that day, and it has become one of my favorite shopping stories of all time. What happened is this:

We all went our separate ways with shopping lists either in mind or written down. After a very short time of shopping, my father, younger daughter and I ended up sitting on a bench in the middle of the mall discussing where we would like to go for lunch.

Every once in a while, Mom, Sis and older daughter would come out of one store, wave as they passed, and enter the next store. A couple of times they even dropped off their packages for us to protect, while leaving their hands and arms free to assault the next shop.

I have blanked out (such a blessing) how long we sat there waiting for them, but I know it was a long time. Finally, either shopped-out or feeling sorry for us (probably the former), they took pity on us and we went to a nearby favorite cafeteria-style restaurant for a delicious and well deserved lunch.

Every year at this time I remember that infamous shopping trip. Evenly divided by personality, three shoppers and three nons, we managed to accumulate all we needed for a very merry family Christmas.

Do you have a favorite shopping story? Are you a shopper or a bench warmer?

National Suspenders Day November 20th

This morning I told Dad he should wear his best suspenders Thursday in honor of National Suspenders Day. He replied that he always does.

He has a number of different colors and patterns, including red, black, and gray. He has worn suspenders for many years. Now we find there is a special day to celebrate this mostly-male occasion.

Although I used this picture in mid-October for Dad and Aunt Vi's birthday, this is the best shot I could find of Dad and his suspenders.

Will you celebrate this auspicious occasion? Will you wear suspenders this Thursday?

Finding the Keepers: The Drive

This is the second part of Sue Monroe's series, Finding the Keepers. See Part 1 on the previous blog post dated August 31st.

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Two weeks later, I asked Mom if she would like to go for a ride in my van. She had not been out since the previous July, because it was too difficult to get her in the van, and it seemed to upset her.

On this sunny April morning she hopped right in, buckled her own seat belt before Dad or I could help, then waited impatiently for poky me to get in and drive.

At the first stop sign we came to, I planned to turn right. A car was coming from my left, but far enough away, I probably could have made it. I waited because I needed to pick up enough speed to get up the hill on the interstate overpass, before the other car reached me. I had precious cargo.

From beside me I heard “GO, GO.”

Mom had leaned forward to see past me, judged the distance of the oncoming car, and decided I had plenty of time to pull out.

Good thing Dad had his seat belt on in the back seat. He would have fallen out, he was laughing so hard, because she was telling me how to drive.

It was the first time I had heard him laugh around her in the year she had been in the home. Of course, he told that story to everyone.

Mom “transferred up” (as the staff at the home called it) two months later.

I believe I have so many good memories from her last couple of years because I decided to look for them.

That is the first step in finding the keepers. Make up your mind to see things in a different way.

Instead of only seeing the bad things, look for something good in anything. For example, a little mannerism from the past that might trigger a good memory.

The more good you look for, the more good you will find. The stories I told in these posts were of Mom reacting to things she always loved – walking, bird watching, driving all over the countryside.

Seeing your loved one react to things they once loved can give you many new memories.

After Mom lost her drivers license, I drove one-handed most of the time. My other hand was tucked firmly in hers. I miss that more than I would have imagined.

Find something that touches you as much as it does them. You will have enough good memories to keep for a lifetime.


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Sue Monroe, the author of the two part series, Finding the Keepers, was caregiver to her mother, Emily Monroe, for six years. After Emily's death in 2004, Sue continued to care for her father until I, her sister, took over his care in September 2006.

Sue now lives in Missouri and enjoys traveling. You can see Sue's work at Red Bubble.

Finding the Keepers: The Walk

By guest author, Sue Monroe. You can read her bio at the end of this post. This picture is of Emily, Christmas 2001.

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Dementia is a long, slow process. As caregivers, we are deeply involved in day-to-day living. Later, it is difficult to remember the good times we enjoyed before the struggle became routine.

I have often heard “we see what we look for.” Now is the time to look for those little nuggets that will become keepers - the lasting good memories of your loved one.

After Mom moved into a nursing home, I most enjoyed our walks around the home on warm Sunday afternoons. She had always been a walker and, although it was a long walk, she loved it.

We were walking early one spring day when I heard her say “That’s pretty.” I knew it wasn't the view she found pretty, because we were facing the home’s maintenance yard.

It must have been the bird singing in the tree above us, so I said, “That does sound pretty. Do you know what kind of bird that is?”

She promptly informed me “No, I don’t know how to read yet. But I’m learning!”

It almost broke my heart because, as an elementary school teacher, she had taught kids to read for over 25 years.

But, I had to smile too. It was the first full sentence I had heard from her in more than two years. I still chuckle when I think of that walk. It is one of my favorite keepers.

What memories are you collecting about your parents? What treasure will you keep with you long after they are gone?

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Sue Monroe, the author of the two part series, Finding the Keepers, was caregiver to her mother, Emily Monroe, for six years. After Emily's death in 2004, Sue continued to care for her father until I, her sister, took over his care in September 2006.

Sue now lives in Missouri and enjoys traveling. You can see Sue's work at Red Bubble.com

Family Treasures

The June/July issue of AARP has an interesting story about PBS’s Antique Roadhouse. I’ve watched the show numerous times and have often thought of childhood items such as old lunch pails I wish I had saved.

But, my family has in our possession items that would never pass muster at Antique Roadshow.

My mother was an artist, writer, and poet. Numerous short stores and poems written in notebooks or typed for posterity remind us of her active imagination; drawings and paintings remind us of her skill as an artist.

She was left-handed yet her script was perfect, identical to the writing seen atop old chalkboards at school. After all, she took penmanship class in college. For years I tried to emulate her penmanship with little success.

Several photo albums hold pictures of the many cakes she decorated for birthdays, weddings and other special occasions. Not to mentioned the untold number of photographs and slides she took as she recorded our family history.

Many of us have in our homes the bed quilts, baby quilts, Christmas tree skirts, or doll dresses she sewed or crocheted, and the ceramic tile coasters she painted adorn our end tables.

And then there is Dad. He built wooden headboards and bookcases, webbed lounge chairs with our initial or name embedded on the back, and caned the numerous chairs sitting around our dining room and kitchen tables. He even caned the headboard of his bed.

Dad attended the School for the Blind in Lansing during the mid to late 1930’s where he learned how to cane. He later taught a caning class through the local community center.

Throughout our homes, we see on a daily basis the priceless family treasures no amount of money could buy. And I don’t think any of us would trade these personal items and the memory of how they came to be for anything we could have appraised at the Roadshow.

What family treasure do you have? What story does it hold? Better yet, what legacy are you passing on to your family members?